Wind Chimes
by Rafusen
Summary: Set in the medieval time period. The young recluse Chichiri is encountered by an estranged dark aelf in the deep woods of the highlands.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: You know it, I don't own it. FY is Watase-sensei's alone.

Warning: This chapter is generally safe. No violence, gore or 'mature situations'. I'm writing this to Vietnamese music; it's so beautiful it's making me sad. It reminds me of Chichiri *sob*. From Chichiri's POV.

Here, in this place I have found hidden from men, there is undying peace. The air is richly adorned with the magic of the spirits, swirling through the misty green leaves of the highlands; I feel it permeate my body, entrancing me in this eternity of tranquility. What utter happiness I have here, amongst the creatures of the air, unseen by common men.

My life has been one devoted to nature. After many years in a monastery as a botanist, I grew tired of the rituals and the condemnation of man, the pathetic explanations of decrepit humans attempting to rationalize, in their own twisted minds, why there can be no peace on this earth without their wearisome rules and punishments. I listened intently, all those years, a mere boy trying to allow myself to understand their way of thinking. It was then that I began to see them.

Dancing, patterns of a prism, exquisite beauty glimmering on the edges of reality, whispers softly through the night air. They dazzled my eyes, I tried to grasp at them, to comprehend them; wings, iridescent streams of lightning tearing apart the darkness, flames glittering on the surface of a shattering lake, reflected in my mahogany eye. I recall breathing in deeply the cool breeze scented of lilies, these otherworldly creatures meant themselves to be seen…even if it was only by my one deteriorating eye. I wept at the sheer radiance of such splendor, hands wiping away liquid admiration. 

I had spread my arms wide, moving around and around, praying in silence that they take me to their unknown realm, away from this ugly reality, dancing in their dance, moving my hands to their silent music.

By morning, it had all dissipated like morning dew on the blades of grass; but the memory could not be brought to rest in my young mind. They spoke of tranquility; but I now held the meaning of the word, in a passing memory. 

Speaking of my experience to the older, wizened monks, my hands reenacting the movements of their emotion based wings, fluttering through a non-existent time, a sea of space infinite. Grim faces, hands clasped in a distortion of anger and fear, they punished me. Punished me for finding something beautiful, and trying to be a part of it. 

Dragged me out into a field of seemingly endless wildflowers, tied my hands together with a splintering rope before they beat me with their fists, chanting obscenities to remove the spirits possessing me from within. As the sobs wrenched from my bleeding throat, I heard them sigh in pain, cry out in my agony, share my burden. They were with me then, beside me, alleviating my pain as they revealed themselves before me again, transparent bodies with large, penetrating eyes, orbs that shone through me. 

I suffered this turmoil several times throughout my period served as a monk; but it was worth it, worth every bit of anguish I had to endure, to glimpse these magnificent creatures of light and air. I felt nothing but absolute serenity, even as he blood ran freely down my body, even as they burned me with hot ashes. 

I have something…they have not. 

Although I do not understand why such precious beings would permit a foul human to catch sight of them. I do not know why they allow me such wonderment. 

Eventually, I left the monastery, so I could watch these unearthly ones in solitude. Not able to bear the constant reproving and condemnation from my fellow monks, I began dabbling in the ways forbidden to holy men; the way of magic. I wanted to become a mystic, not so much as for the power, but so I might possibly be able to…communicate with these things who danced in the still moonlight. My thirst for knowledge of them could not be satiated; I read the hundred, no, thousands of explanations , the myths, legends. Yet there was no satisfaction; none of them saw these visions as reality. None of them believed it to be true.

Having retreated into a wood deep within the highlands, I have succeeded in discovering immensely potent magic abilities, what I had thought at one point was impossible. It was because of these beings. 

They favored me. 

In the spring, on bright, sunlit mornings they would rest about my garden, tiny manikins with delicate, paper-like wings folded, tiny bodies curled up in the center of the flowers I grow; In the winter, they leap in and out of the orange flames on my hearth, invade my inner chamber, spinning around my head teasingly as I would attempt to question them. Laughing, they fly to and fro, stirring up a faint wind to rock gently the wind chimes hanging from my window. 

The harmonic tinkling sound causes them to shine, glow with happiness. They are always around me, beside me, near me or in my dreams. And although I do not understand them, they know me, have memorized my every mannerism in both speech and movement. They imitate my singing, small, thin, flute sounds, tiny voices making sound but no words.

I know there is more of them, not in this form but in many others, as well. Once, I caught a fleeting glimpse of a woman, taller perhaps, than myself, clothed in what appeared to be silk spun from a spider, her hair a blinding white, her lips colorless. Eyes holding a cold fire, much like that of a star, she disappeared into the deep wood. It seemed that she had been watching me for a long time; when I finally took notice of her, she dematerialized.

I can only wonder if she still watches me. If she is like the others.

I have read that not all of these creatures are beneficent or harmless. Some of them are dangerous. 

It's late. Night brings a distant haze lining the mountain paths, pearls floating in the clouds of mist. I make my way toward my abode, carrying my staff and a pail of water from the stream; tiny beings are lighting my path, fluttering gossamer wings against my face in adoration. I believe they think they have stolen me from mankind, and made me one of their own. This morning the had left a pair of butterfly wings on my bed, as if inviting me to take flight with them into a realm unknown. It is their type of gift, for their adopted child of an imperfect race.

The light has grown dim as the candle in near it's demise; I quickly light another one, slipping off my robes in the cool quiet, laying down upon the soft comfort of my bed. The creatures have been drawn towards the small flame, dancing around it briefly before they take their leave, the darkness enveloping the entire room.

I think back upon the monastery; my mind fluctuates between sweet sleep and anxiety, my sole eye fighting to keep awake. Right outside my window, pine trees bend in the wind, brushing against the chimes like slender black fingers. 

I see two ruby-colored eyes, penetrating the shadows, glittering as jewels would in the hollow light. Startled, I sit up, drawing aside the curtains enough to get a better look. 

I see…darkness. Nothing more.

I have seen them before, those jewels outside my window. Perhaps it is an illusion. Perhaps…

*^-^* Oi, I'm back!! No, our beloved monk thing is not nutters in this story. Just keep reading, it will unfold. Review for me too, if it suits your fancy. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Hey…is it necessary to disclaim each chapter? Or can I just disclaim the whole fic in the first chapter and let it at that? Confuzzling, really.

Warning: Nothing to fear-- yet! *^-^* Of course I'm only teasing. 

A stream of light creeps just over the horizon, dispelling the remainder of the darkness. I watch as the sun slowly rises from the treetops; the whole world is a glittering, serene shade of a hazy pink rose. Awakening from a night of restless slumber, I force myself from the softness of my pillow and step onto the cold earthen floor, breathing in the clarity of dawn. Dried candle wax creates a inconsistent pattern upon the flat wood surface of the low table at which I sit, rubbing my eye absently as the area of my vision comes into view. 

I only have one eye, so it often takes a few moments to see things as clearly as I can; sometimes I see things as very far away, although they may be right before me. A small violet coronal has been made by what have been distinguished as 'faeries', another present for me. I wonder if perhaps they dote on me, as I do on them. Or maybe they are to tell me about themselves in some peculiar language which I am unable to decipher. 

Picking it up carefully, I gaze at the intricacy of how it was pieced together, by hands much smaller than my own; some, not hands but webs or hooves. The fair purple color is fading slightly, it must have been made in the night. Why…why do they do such things? Yawning silently, I rise up to clothe myself properly.

How odd. Why bother to wear clothing at all, here in the deep wood? They wear nothing, they have no need, for they are perfect. I believe it is my upbringing instilled in me that persuades me to dress as a man, although I am totally secluded from mankind. 

It could be, also, that I fear to… show them what a human is like. I feel deformed when I observe their perfection, and in a way, it is painful. That is why, that must be why I still am… as a man, at least in my guise.

It is now bright enough for me to see undoubtedly everything around me. I draw up my loose trousers around my hollowed waist, pulling on my chestnut-brown roes over top, fumbling with the sash. It seems, these days, I can never keep it closed; the wind is always seeking to free me from the last chains of mortality.

My favorite place is on the vast green hills. I look out over the expanse of land beneath, the massive trees. It is also where they can be found occasionally, peering at me in my meditations and giggling, queer sounds ringing through the eternity of air. Tiptoeing on blades of swaying grass, they crawl into my lap, eyes filled with knowledge and purity. This is when I am happiest of all. I cannot describe to you…this incredible feeling…

Knowing that you are not entirely alone. Knowing that, to some degree, these absolutely faultless beings crave to be in your presence, though you may feel unworthy and filthy in comparison.

There can be no comparison, I am sure of this.

I focus on one of them, a male, I suppose, from his facial features. He is in transformation. Crouched, still, his lovely body contorts, twists, fragments in such a wonderful yet horrifying way; I cry out, involuntarily, at the process, causing the others to become overly startled. They flutter about, disorganized, hurriedly, dissipating into the space around me in an instant. 

He's disappeared as well.

My defect has driven them away; at least, temporarily. But I do this habitually, without meaning to. I do not want them to leave me. I close my eye tight, attempting to shut out the tears coming, wrap my long, thin arms around my passive body. I don't want them to…run away…

I stand up miserably. The more I try to understand them, the farther away they fly, leaving my weak heart in turbulence. What is wrong with me? I should be more subtle. They are not ones who take delight in excitement or discord. Brushing myself off gently, I start to make my way down the hill, toward my dwelling in the abode. Sometimes if I return to it, they will come out again, ringing the bells playfully to show their forgiveness.

Someone is watching me. I keep getting peculiar sensations down my spine, icy fingers tapping along the bones methodically. It's probably them; they want me to come out, but I fear to frustrate them anymore. To drive away their beauty is what a foolish soul like myself could do without realizing it. If I can only observe them from afar, then it shall be so. As long as they don't leave entirely, I am content.

Spinning around in a rhythmatic dance, they hover above my head as I lie on the floor, staring past them into the ceiling. Were I one of them, I should penetrate even the sky itself, like a dragon in spring. I would feel nothing at all. Nothing, a cloud, gently floating across the ocean of the horizon. One or two land on my face, looking into my eye curiously. 

I suddenly lose all desire for silence. "Why-- why do you choose to let me see you?" My voice sounds raspy, strained. They are not troubled by this; a female puts her wings against my eye, I see an intense scream of color. Another nips mischievously at my fingertips.

Why… "Why…why not someone beautiful…like you…"

"Why choose someone so disgusting?"

"Why have you granted me… such a wonderful thing as this…?" Clenching my fists in depression.

Just as I ask these things, the beating of paper wings ceases. Gone.

Please…don't leave…

In my garden, the last of the fallen flowers I remove from the ground, preserving the grass beneath my socked foot alive, for a little while before the snow. The decaying fragrance is heavy on my sleeves, suffocating in its promise of eminent death. Sighing, I kneel down beside the herbs I have grown for medication. 

At rare times, an errant knight will pass through the wood, usually escaping pursuing knights of some domain. Injured, more than usually; so I keep a fair amount of curing substances within my abode in clay jars. It is the only time I ever make contact with other humans.

Recently, a very young and handsome man passed through, his hair the color of midnight. His wounds had been rather serious, and when I found him he lay dying astride his horse by the lake. I remember when he came to, he was surprised at my own youthfulness:

"They said there was a mystic in these woods-- but I perceived that you might be very old…"

I feel old, in my mind, in my spirit. But my countenance remains light.

When I sent him onward, for he had many conquests ahead of him, he swore he would return someday to call on me, as gentlemanly knights do, I suppose. He thanked me over and over, claiming that love was at stake and how without my abilities that love would have never known him.

I could not explain to him that I'd never felt that before. I've felt elation, from the so-called 'faeries'; their very presence is electrifying. But love? Truly, I have yet to know it. 

These memories are tiresome. To continue thinking on them only causes my heart to ache.

I gaze fixedly at the ground, shoulders hunched over in my despair. Will I never come to comprehend these ones I adore so much? How can I go on, knowing that I can never fully grasp them and their thought process?

The trees rustle. Wind shatters my downward mind-set, jolting me with a wintry breath. The seasons are changing upon the mountains. 

I glance up inattentively, my eye is drawn to his.

Two rubies watching me with all inquisitiveness, as he slowly reveals himself from the blurry shadows.

O.o What next? 

Chichiri: Mystery creature, take me away no da!

.' Keep reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Just to be safe, I don't own it.

Warning: Um… kawaiiness? ^-^' To answer a question posed to me by a reader, I changed my mind. There's nothing yaoi or shonen-ai in this fic. I want to somehow convey…love in it's purity between two individuals. This chapter is generally safe.

Tiny Blog: I want to say doomo arigato gozaimasu to all my wonderful reviewers! You guys are such the best! I really do get the best reviews… You gotta know I truly appreciate it. To quote: 'My girls are good to me. *plap*' - The 300 year old Frog Demon, Inuyasha.

Stay perfectly still. 

A dark silhouette, shadowed by the leaves from the bright midday sun, saunters out from behind an oak, running a slender hand over his arm. I force myself to be entirely motionless, although I feel myself trembling with what seems to be fear. 

Why am I afraid? They have never harmed me before. But then, I've never actually come across one of human stature-- one that is, interestingly, taller perhaps, even than myself. My eye slowly creeps up, drinking in his unearthly form. He is barefoot, as all of them are, I suppose; some type of animal skin for trousers, a bit ragged around the ankles, wrapping up long, muscled legs; a leather belt slung low on his hips, a clasp of what appears to be moonstone; chest covered with a material colored the deepest black, riddled with dried, brownish leaves and moss; sinewy, tan arms, slightly bathed in sweat, displaying strength in the solid tissue beneath his skin.

And a face, so beautiful it shocks me, soft pink mouth accented with glistening pearl-white fangs, blood ruby eyes rimmed with dark, long lashes; garishly bright orange hair, standing almost on end; large, sleek, pointed ears, appearing sharp at the ends. These fascinate me the most, along with his size. He cannot possibly be a 'faerie', they are quite irked by clothing or anything that confines them. 

I do not intend to describe tediously, yet…

What manner of creature…? No, not creature, not thing or it, but lovely, enchanting being. I keep my head lowered, so he will not be aggravated into departure. However, I cannot help staring at his exquisiteness, even as I pretend to be preoccupied with gathering the chamomile from my garden. My hands are shaking violently, clammy in my fright. For all the times I have been overly brave towards these beings, never have I felt such a degree of intense fear as I do now. Perhaps it is because he is human-like.

A soft wind caresses my hair lightly, toying with it. I look up, and immediately look back down again, choking back excitement: he has crouched down beside me, noiselessly, eyes forwardly on my countenance, head cocked to the side in curiosity. Arms dangling on his knees, he peers up into my eye, innocence permeated on his attractive features. I want to… so badly to… touch him…

I lift my head upwards, and he adjusts himself accordingly to meet my gaze. None of them have ever been so direct with me as this one. Thoughts jumbled, confused as to how I should behave, I sit cross-legged, hands tightly entwined, trembling. 

Rather casually, he imitates my actions perfectly, never once averting his bizarre red orbs from mine. We stay like this, in this stance for what seems hours. 

No matter how hard I try, I cannot look away from something so unbelievably wonderful. So we sit, staring into each other's eyes, until suddenly he stands up, his face contorted in a foreign emotion, and begins to back away.

"Please…" I reach out, and immediately reprove myself for such an audacious move. He would not like this; they by no means did. Grasping my hands as if they were burned, I glance down. I hear nothing, I am too afraid he will have left to look up again. Placing the chamomile within the sleeve of my robe, I swiftly return to my dwelling, not turning about to see the emptiness which I bring, through my fault.

Dusk is heavily blanketing the air, layers of darkness falling upon the wood. The wind whispers endearingly between the branches of the trees, stirring the boughs in a wave of green. Some of the leaves, the ones dry and sapped of life, fly wildly to the ground, air spirits riding them until they make contact with the damp earth below. There are no flowers, now; a vast display of grayish-green rainbows, mingled with the scent of autumn. 

I wonder if he will return. If, when I peer outside my window in the coming night, I will recognize the rubies glittering in the silent obscurity.

Questions keep surfacing in my mind. What…what was he? I am aware that not all faeries are small; yet he did not have the same mannerisms, the flightiness and the constant transformation that would have distorted his lovely facial appearance. 

I go to my wooden chest, opening up to reveal several thick, dusty books filled with knowledge and legend of the mythical spirits. Searching tirelessly for a name, a description…to fit the magnificent creature I encountered, devouring the thousands, hundreds of thousands of words, running together, handwritten lettering embellished with imaginary demons and bogies, I peruse them deep into the bleakness of night, my candle eaten away by a hungry flame, the flame the very color of his silken tresses…

Words, what are words? Soon, my tired eye sees nothing but gibberish, foolish black splotches on weighty paper. Sleep is coming over me, wrestling from me my clarity; arching my back, I refuse to give up my awareness to dreams and nightmares.

"If I could only…grasp his being. What he means." Chin in my hand, I sigh loudly. The light of the fire grows dim, hazy…

I see an open field, wildflowers stretching out endlessly over the waves of a sea-green ocean. Waist high in soft chamomile grasses, I wade into it deeper, eye indefinitely probing the world around me for his beauty.

"There is nothing in this world…

"Nothing in this world can drag me away from this place…

"I… only see you, all around me…

"Glittering like a bloody rainbow, your eyes…

"Memory…it will not dissipate…"

There, over those hills, a glimpse of a flame, flickering in the breeze, I run to it…

Kneeling, dark black wings like those of some unknown devil… he smiles strangely, tears slipping down his cheeks, blood smattered upon his full lips… holding his arms out to me, I fall into them…

Awaken, soaked in my own dread, gasping for air. It floods my lungs, cool, refreshing. Eye darts around the room in a panic, glaring hard at the shadows dancing in the early morning light. I can't get a grip on my emotions; shaking, I stand up from where I had fallen into sleep, smoothing my neck with quivering hands. Why this feeling?

They are buzzing about the cold hearth, in and out of my earthen pots. Wings flecked with shimmers off the water in the afternoon sunlight, soft yellow and red highlights. Happy to find them within my area again, I smile and avoid perturbing them by leaving my abode promptly. They will still be there when I return; if not, they will have followed me. I have won forgiveness from faeries; if I am capable of this, then perhaps…

I feel dirty, a stain. I should bathe. The water just before autumn remains warm enough to be bearable; in the winter, I am left haplessly shivering for hours after a dip. Now is the ideal time, early morning.

Relaxing against the edge of the bank, I immerse myself in the cool lake water, leaves floating ripple the surface of a mirror. I love water.

Several water fays are gathered around shining, slippery stones at the base of the bank, jumping onto the water lilies, splashing lightly with tinkling laughter. I feel intense joy, sinking lower in the liquid to hide myself from them. Were they less beautiful, I would not be so embarrassed. I shift through the strength of the water, flowing, pushing against my legs as I come to the small waterfall. Stepping out of the lake into the watery veil, I feel it forcefully plunge against me, hold up my hands to catch the glistening drops. It feels so good… the pressure on my skin…

Like hands…

Open my eye, I can't hold back anymore. It's true, I chose this life of solitude; yet I wasn't fully aware of how utterly alone I would be. I thought their company would satiate me…

Tears like the endless stream from the waterfalls, I cover my face with my hands, sit curled up behind the liquid crystal shroud. Why must humans… be so vulnerable…to mental pain…

It is then that I feel his eyes on me, like fire burning through my flesh. I pull my hands away carefully, peek out behind my fingers. 

He is leaning near me, his eyes look so…sad. Sad… for me, it is so…peculiar. Eyebrows knitted in concern, lips slightly pulled back to reveal his small fangs. It is… an expression…I have never seen before…

He puts his hands over mine; I gasp inwardly, this doesn't happen, this isn't…real. I stammer, draw back a little, for I am still extremely fearful of this individual.

"H- hello," I rasp, voice catching in my throat. He stares hard at me, standing up. I cry out, "No, please!" then whisper, "Don't leave me here… alone…"

His eyes glow in the semi-darkness of the water cave. A surpassing feeling of relief passes over me as I slump against the wall of the cave. He imitates me yet again, leans his head on my narrow shoulder. My heart is racing, pumping out of my chest. 

He parts his lips, emitting a soft, gentle sound, like that of the autumn wind, a song without words. It overwhelms me entirely. He is trying to speak.

He wants to talk to me. I know there are tears on my face, such is this feeling…

This ecstasy.

I'm not alone anymore.

*^-^* Chichiri finally is a happyling!

Chichiri: I think everybody knows who the mysteryling is, no da!

Read on, my fellow authors/readers!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: As much as I wish I owned Tasuki, I do not, nor do I own FY in general. Poop.

Warning: My sweet tooth is aching already. Excessive sugariness. Not sickeningly so, but very…well… you'll see. ^-^

Little blog: I can't believe I'm finally writing this. *^-^* I'm so happy!

The wind has grown indefinitely colder, I can't seem to get warm. Even within my inner chamber, covered up to the tip of my nose, I still feel the chill. Tree branches are barren, crooked hands grasping at the steel blue sky, begging for release. I watched all the leaves fall, turn to dust as they were swept away by autumn rains. He watched with me.

He is here with me now. Comes and goes, like the eternal pass of time; here one moment, having disintegrated the next. Yet, in my heart, I know he will not abandon me here, in the bitter stillness. I glance up from my research books, see him gazing absently out the window, his long legs stretched out before him on the earthen floor. 

We still… cannot seem to understand each other. He is fascinated by my existence, as I am with his; he roams about my dwelling, never touching anything, but taking it all in, deep contemplation. He will look out my window, then go out of the abode, and peer in from it, his face full of interest and confusion. Sometimes he lays on my bed, tosses and turns, tugs the pillows and dishevels the coverings. I would not dare to reprimand him; in fact, I enjoy his inquisitiveness, his insatiable curiosity. Sticks his head in the cauldron hanging in the hearth, runs outside into my garden, now withered, to see what I have attempted to grow.

I have also taken note that he is severely jealous, and does not permit any of the air spirits around me while he is present. He will chase them away, waving his smooth hands about in sheer anger, murmuring soft, unintelligible sounds. Any 'gifts' they try to bestow upon me he finds and seemingly pouts, as a spoiled child would. 

But in the night… he always departs. While the candle flickers abstract images along the uneven walls, I am left quite alone. Darkness, I believe, is his realm. In it, he has nothing to do with me; it is his time. I have come to the conclusion that he may be what is called a 'dark aelf'. 

Aelves-- higher than faeries and humans, beautiful in countenance, magical and mysterious. Carriers of the magic swords and invisibility, the dark ones are, at least according to legend. Born from the maggots devouring the flesh of the mythical giant Ymir, the dark aelves were explained as ugly, malicious beings, especially towards humans. Living in the fiery depths of the earth, they forge their magical weapons and come out only to practice malignant devices upon the weaker ones.

Yet I cannot see such things in him. I feel nothing bad…when he is around me. All I perceive…is elation…a type of happiness I cannot put into physical words…

Since I now have this perspective on him, however, I try to be careful with him, not flippant, although I know…he could never hurt anyone, could never do anything bad…

Badness is defined by humans. Not going by these standards, I know…I know he is truly something…extraordinary.

I have managed to dry enough berries and herbs for the long winter months ahead. It will be difficult to retain any weight during this time period, yet being a monk previously has enlightened me to these experiences. I begin feeling hollow as I sort through the various plants, separating them by name and purpose. Hopefully I will have enough to make a few elixirs lest a person in turmoil should stumble across my path.

As I sit, frustrated at such tedium, at my low table, he arranges himself athwart from me, putting both lovely hands on it, eyes focused on my own. He appears quizzical.

"I have to do this," I say lightly, "Do you…would you…like to help?" I supply a watery smile, praying that he comprehends what I'm saying. If only we knew each other's languages…

He must sense my despair, for in the next moment, he is beside me, not to close, yet not far out of reach. He stares at the heap of roots and herbs; then broadly swipes them all over the table, disorganizing them further. I am not irritated, just upset that we can't…we can't…

I attempt to bring up a new subject. "Do you know what these are for?" I hold a small sprig of something or other in my palm, glancing at him for a response. He doesn't move or show any interest in what I'm saying. I crush the tiny root in my hand-- it's an edible one, to my knowledge-- and place some of it between my lips, chewing politely. After I swallow the tasteless thing, I continue: "You see? I eat this."

He points at me mechanically, eyes wide. A sonorous sound is emitted from his throat as he picks up some of the root in his own hand and stares at it blankly. He raises his eyebrow at my hunched shoulders, my undernourished body. 

Then, suddenly, something snaps. He takes the root and, bouncing slightly, puts it in his own mouth, chews it for a short period before spitting it back out. He makes a rather disgusted face.

"Well, I know it doesn't taste good, but it's what I have to live on." But…is he…understanding? Or perhaps just mimicking me? 

In the next instant, he has risen up, glaring at me to do the same. He continues to look intently upon me until I slowly am forced to obey his silent command. My legs ache…I fear I may be a slight bit dehydrated. He walks gracefully over to where I store my cooking utensils, and glances back for permission.

"What do you intend to do?" 

He answers me by unsheathing the knife I use for cutting thick magic roots I apply in my remedies. I feel intense trepidation overcome me; quaking, I begin to make my way back to my previous occupation. Perhaps if I pretend not to notice, he'll discard it…

Taking me abruptly by the arm, he gazes into my eyes, and I sense that he sees the fear, for he loosens his strong grip into something less frightening, silently pushing me down into a sitting position. He turns the knife over and over, examining it fastidiously, before he plunges it deep into his own perfect flesh.

"No, don't!" I cry, wrenching it away from him. The deep gash on his arm is bleeding profusely; how could he do such a terrible thing? What is he thinking? What? What?

Appearing emotionally hurt, he lowers his head to his chest, closing his eyes. I tear off a large strip of my robe and press it against the self-inflicted wound, attempting to stint the bleeding. "Why would you do such a thing?" I inquire, tears building up behind my eye. He pushes my skeletal hand away, along with the cloth, and opens the wound larger, forcing the skin to stretch abnormally. I begin to feel nauseated; I feel the drops sliding down my chin as I watch this horrific act. There's nothing I can do, lest he disappear…

Gently putting his hand on the back of my neck, he raises his injured arm to my mouth. "What?!" I splutter, pulling away violently. "I-- I can't do that!"

Annoyed, he attempts to repeat this action, and yet again I pull away, sobbing uncontrollably. Why can't I understand you? Why? 

Then he shrugs audibly, and lays down on the floor. Dusk is approaching swiftly. A hand over my mouth to keep from retching, I weep silently in the corner of my abode. It is so painful, not able to grasp him fully, even partially. It is all a mystery to me, an agonizing mystery that I cannot solve. I cannot…

He is rapidly before me, forehead against my own, eyes closed. I notice that the wound has evaporated into nothing. It is true, then; he is indeed a divine aelf, for only they have the ability to heal themselves. He is mouthing foreign words, a bare whisper in the still air. Drawing my hands away from my face, he turns his eyes on me, sympathy and…something…I don't know what it could be…radiating within them.

But…I do know…

I can't believe this…but…

He nuzzles my neck affectionately, soft, muffled, flowing language sprouting from his lips like liquid fire. I reach up and touch his face; this is the first time I have put my hand on him. Trembling, I ask, "What… do you feel…?" He purrs against it, eyes look sedated and heavy with bliss, as he mumbles something into my hand. 

"You make me…so happy…" voice shaking, "I…can't explain to you…how wonderful you are…I don't even know…if you care, but…" I sigh, falling into his arms lightly, frail human being that I am. "Why did you…do that…it hurts me…to see you do that…" He grips my shoulders tight, resting his cheek next to my neck. I feel myself flushing intolerably; he is breathing me in, running his slender fingers over my thin chest, along my prominent ribcage. He opens his eyes, batting the lashes against my collarbone, stroking the sharp ribs jutting out from my sides. 

It hits me so hard, I begin to weep into his shirtfront.

He…was trying to preserve me…with his own flesh…he is concerned about me…he cares for me…

There were long hours where he had just gazed at my sleeping form, unclothed, seeing my gaunt, feeble body, the very bones visible through nearly transparent skin; I had thought, then, that he was simply mesmerized by the human body, in all it's weakness…but now… now I understand…for the first time, I understand!

In his own way, he is attempting to show love.

We hold onto one another for what seems forever, his muscular arms wrapped around me, encasing me in a kind of cold warmth. I slide my hands up and down his back, bury my head in his shoulder, so grateful for him, for this wondrous, beautiful creature, this essence of night personified; yet he is light to me, glimmering hope.

I never thought I would be able to experience this. 

Night has taken on it's full color, yet he stays with me, comforting me without understanding me.

Neither of us can comprehend one another, but somehow…somehow…

In the depths of my heart, I know what is in his mind.

Chichiri: o.- Oh Tasuki no da, hold me baby!

Tasuki: .' Chiri-chan…not in public facilities! 

*^-^* More to come!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own FY.

Warning: A little angst in this chapter, but mostly sweetness. Oh, I changed the warnings in chapter 3 and 4...I've decided to make this fic one depicting love in ultimate purity, like one between, for example, two children. So the rating's going to change probably, too. 

Little Blog: Um… so are the rabid yaoi fan girls going to eat me. ^-^' No, I think even they will like this. I hope everyone will be okei with the transition I make, I just know how I want this story to go, and it's not a lemon-limey path. 

These green hills are ceaseless, forever running into the horizon laced with the tips of pine trees. Wind, billowing my robes, caressing my pale skin with its icy hands, awakens in me a sense of deep attentiveness, a refreshing coolness. My eye falls upon him, seated before me, legs crossed in the same manner as my own, hands stroking the soft grass beneath him, eyes closed. So lovely, so entirely pure…and yet…a subtle darkness surrounds him…a tainted sort of aura, something fearful. This, I know, is what I felt when I first laid my vision upon him; though I cannot say that it is not this feeling that has drawn me to him as well.

He leans back, relaxing against the earthen blanket, the sun highlighting the contours of his tanned face, glittering in his eyelashes tiny rainbows. I see them floating through the sea of air, wings fluttering in the breeze delicately, eyes flashing. 

I am among them, as one of them. My heart is steeped in a wonderful sorrow.

If only…we could vocalize our thoughts into comprehensible words. I can't make him know who or what I am…

Staring at me, he sits up again, pushing bangs his flame-like bangs from this forehead, meeting my gaze. 

"If only…" looking down, twirling a leaf thoughtfully betwixt my fingers. His hand lightly touches my shoulder, his eyebrows knitted in interest. "I…My name is…Chichiri," I say, placing his hand over my heart, my face. Appearing startled and befuddled, he jerks away, then rethinks his motions, glaring hard at my expression. 

"Aaa…" a soft, purring sound crawls out from his throat, tilting his head. I'm shaking with anxiety, how can I help him to…? Pointing at the sky, " The sky. It's the sky."

"Skkkkk?"

"The sky. That's it's name. That's what it is." I smooth my hands upward, attempting to reach up and grasp the vast blue veil littered with bright clouds. "I am…" hands over my heart, "Chichiri."

His mouth opens slightly, revealing his silvery-white fangs. Then, thumping his hand on me powerfully, he splutters, "Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch!! Chi-chi-riii!!!" Smiling, he thumps me again, then throws his head back and shrieks, a shrill, shattering sound. I wince noticeably and he emits a sound like that of laughter, sweet and light. Grabbing my shoulders, burying his head against my chest giggling, he murmurs, "Chi…" Looks up, smiling into my face, "Chi! Chi! Ri!" 

His intelligence astounds me, the quickness of his mind…I never realized how swiftly he could understand…I wrap my arms around him carefully, enveloping him in my maroon robes, I feel the tears…coming…

I'm so happy…yet something makes me sad…

I know it's him, that makes me feel this way…because something…is affecting him…

Pulling away suddenly, he puts both hands on his face, "Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasuuuuuuuuuukiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…"

I blink. "You're…name?"

"Ta! Su! Ki! Maaaaa naaaaaaaaammmmmmm Tasuki!" Shakes his head back and forth in delight, laughter emanating from his grinning eyes. He falls over, hysterical, rolling about in the grass, pulling me down with him in a confused heap of limbs and clothing. "Tasuki," he breathes into my ear.

Abruptly bouncing back up, he thrusts his hands deep into the rich soil of the hills, wiggling his fingers a bit. I feel the earth shiver slightly beneath me. Propping myself up, I gaze in awe as thin stems begin to form from the ground where he has placed his fingers, rising up until they expose themselves completely to the sunlight, generating buds, and then blooming.

The small, wispy flowers are gray in color, wilting. I look up into his eyes, searching for an answer. 

Then one more sprouts up, a little shorter than the others, a slender, pale green stem topped with a magnificent, orange and red flower, so beautiful I cannot tear my eye from it. He takes his hands away and brushes them off on his pant legs.

"It's a beautiful flower," I profess to him. What is he trying to explain?

He smiles; and then, his face changes. It sinks, crumples into a devastated expression, dark and sad, as he pulls the petals off of the flower, slowly, one by one…

Until only one remains. I see blood leaking from the stem, a purplish fluid that is also smattered upon his fingertips. Trembling, his hands clench into fists, presses them against the sides of his head in frustration, a tiny cry escaping from his lips, turning into a tremendous scream, echoing through the hills, the deep wood. I hold him close, stroking his hair gently as he bites back sobs of agony, hiding his face from me.

"What…what…are you trying to…"

Seizes the remainder of the flower in his hand, crushing it. "Ta-Tasuki," he say shakily, rocking to and fro.

"Did someone…did many…hurt you?" Glancing at the gray, distorted flowers still planted in the ground, I attempt to decipher…his sadness…

The faeries have scattered.

I can't stop thinking. My mind is in pain, what…happened… to my dark aelf?

He lay sleeping in my bed, covering surrounding him like swirls of milk, his body curled up in a fetal position. His breathing is paced, silent. I watch his back move ever so slightly, the wind rustle his feathery orange hair. He must be cold; perhaps I should shut the window.

I would but for the faeries lingering by the chimes, darting in and out of my dwelling with lightning speed. They dance round my hearth fire, singing a peculiar song, wings clashing in a soundless beat, voices humming like the noise of a thousand bees. Surely he will be agitated into wakefulness.

Waving my hands at them, they scurry outdoors, perturbed and haughty. I shut out the chilly night air, and lie down beside him, tracing the line of his jaw soothingly. 

So beautiful…

And yet…the legends speak of ugliness. Then, is he what I presume? Somehow I must make him tell me his origin. I do not know how, but I shall do it. 

I know his name. What a…lovely…name…

Tasuki.

^-^ Review? It's up to you! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: That's right. No own.

Warning: Oozing sweetness. This might be harder to bear than gore!

Little Blog: I wish I could somehow animate what's going through my mind as I write this for you to see, along with the beautiful music I listen to while typing this. If you could see the pictures in my mind I get from this…well, anyway, thanks for reviewing lots and keep reading!

Soft orange-pink light permeates the quiet stillness of the autumn morning, a pleasant feeling of comfort and wakefulness. I open my eye just a tiny bit, peek out to see if he is even now beside me, if he is conscious. His long, dark eyelashes flutter, I close my eye, feigning sleep. If I can remain like this long enough without giving away my pretense, perhaps he'll wander around a bit and explore.

Sitting up, tangling his fingers in his wild hair, glistening with a light sweat and a myriad of colors reflected in the hazy morning light. He glances over at my listless form, puts a hand delicately on my ribcage, feeling it rise and fall evenly, as I am able to control my breathing significantly. It remains there for what seems to be several minutes, then, apparently satisfied that I am indeed asleep, he lays back down, pressed against me tightly, arms around me in a strong yet gentle hold. I feel the whisper of his sugar-sweet breath on my ear, I know I must be blushing; whether or not he notices, I cannot tell.

Leaning his head on my narrow shoulder, I hear him speak, in low tones.

"Lle naa vamina, a'maelamin," his fingers trace my neck lightly, along my face, over my scarred eye. "Lirimaen…"

Places his velvet lips on my cheek, which is flaming hot in my shyness, lays a small kiss. I cannot keep my eye shut any longer, it pops open, meeting his gaze directly. I am clearly embarrassed, but in a good sort of way; I feel…very, very happy. He smiles carefully, sits up and away from me as I slowly stretch, and arise, savoring this emotion pulsating through my body. I hear the bedcovers rustle; turning around, he is suddenly beside me, chin on my shoulder, eyes wide with…?

The moment is shattered upon the sound of that like a galloping horse, coming in this direction, I suppose. He appears terrified, grips my sleeve much like that of a child who hides behind the skirts of his mother. Utters a small cry, then gazes at me in anxiety. "What is it?" I still do not know him enough…to know why he behaves thus.

I move to the window; a knight, visored, in silvery armor, riding on a white horse, is dismounting cautiously. Seated behind him is a lovely maiden, auburn hair soaking up the light of the sun fully, eyes gleaming a bright gold. By her garments I imagine she is some sort of noblewoman; why, though, should such gentle ones be here, in the deep woods of the highlands? Turning to my aelf, to find he has disappeared, I sigh regrettably and draw my robes tight around my thin frame, step outside my abode.

"Hello, sir knight," I say loud enough for him to comprehend me over the rushing autumnal winds. He glances in my direction as he lifts the maiden form the patient horse, setting her down gently.

Removing his visor, reveals a familiar face, midnight black hair, charming smile. It is the knight I healed several months ago, who claimed he would return. A man of his word, truly.

"Hello, mage! I promised I would come back to you! See that I have!" He comes toward me, his arms spread wide, and embraces me in a crushing hold. I stammer, "You've entirely regained your strength…"

Throwing back his head in jovial laughter, he counters, "'Twas you that made it so! And now," he pulls away, opens his arm in invitation to the beautiful woman timidly standing behind him, "See what your healthy knight has found." She walks slowly, cautiously toward me, eyes lowered yet meeting my own. "Thank you, kind mage, for healing my beloved," she murmurs, her voice like a petal on the wind.

I must seem confused, for he laughs again, leading me by the shoulder into my abode, "I shall tell you everything!"

"I told you that you healed for good purpose, magician. For love, for love…" His eyes roam about, taking in the humbleness of my dwelling. "For love, I would…do anything, would you not?" 

I smile, "I would that it were I knew such feeling…" And yet…

"I never did tell you my name. How uncouth, yet it was necessary at the first time of our meeting, for I am a wanted man."

"Names are irrelevant to me. I see you are a truly wonderful person."

His eyes smile genially. "Strong word, this 'wonderful'. I would not be so high as to describe myself in such a manner. Yet, I shall tell you now, my name is Tamahome, knighted by the King Hotohori of the southern realm. I am said to be one of his strongest knights, yet I do not see it," his face becomes sad, tumultuous with emotion. I rest my hand on his back lightly.

"How so?"

"For I…" choking back a sob, "I…have violated everything… for this maiden you see before you now…" He waves his hand to the window, where the girl is seated outside, directly in the view of the sun.

"She is lovely."

"She is also the Queen of the southern realm." He grips my shoulders, eyes wild with regret and something, something fearful. "I love her," swallowing hard, "I love her so much, and she feels this as well. Have I done the wrong thing, spiriting her away, if we love each other so much we cannot be apart no longer?" His voice is desperate, seeking answers I feel I cannot give him. Withdrawing slightly, I gaze at the floor, rubbing my hands against my sleeve.

"You stole her from the palace?"

"We agreed upon it. The royal knights are in an uproar, the kingdom frantic for her return. The king," Tears sliding down his face, "The king knows it was I who lead her away, and has declared me treasonous, that I should be slaughtered when found…"Wiping them away roughly, "But I do not care! I love her, and we shall run far away together, far away…" His voice fades off, gazing at her bright form.

Fidgeting, I feel intense desire…to tell him…

"You are right."

Glances up confused. "But I--"

"You love her, do you not? She loves you, does she not? Then," swiftly taking in a breath, "Love each other together, even if it means treason, even if it means you are out of favor. For what can mean more than this, your love?" 

His eyes become hopeful, glittering with delight at my words. 

"I would do anything to be with her for our eternity!"

Smiling, sorrow aching in my heart, I grasp his hand. "There is a mountain not far from here, where no one dares to venture. I shall lead you to it; there is a small village, mostly of monks, seeking solitude. If you would like, I would it you should stay there, for a little while, until there can be better accommodations for you…"

Standing up, he once again crushes me in his embrace, "How good you are, mage! How good you are!"

"I shall lead you there tomorrow. For now, please feel as if this is your home, be at ease." I wander out to her, gently guiding her inside to her love, and then take my leave, for now, I must…

I must find him.

Having wandered the darkening green hills for hours, it seems; and yet, no trace of him. Was he so terribly frightened by other human beings? But he has no fear of me. This I…shall struggle to understand. Can it be that he has had dealings with human beings before me? Or perhaps, I am the only one he has come to know, and my nature, quite unlike ordinary men, is what he expects from all. 

I gather up the folds of my robe as I near the lake, lean down to sip some of the clear waters. Sparkling reflections of light from their haloed forms, they swirl about in the cold air, patterns of beauty, ceaseless in their design. I sit down, resting my arms on my knees wearily; I have always been weak in physical strength, something, I believe, is necessary for me to see them.

I know now that no one can really know these beings, their motives, their minds.

The sound of wind chimes fills my empty soul, as my eye searches endlessly for his form. Where, where in all the wood is he hiding? Is he hiding from the strangers?

Or from me? My eye mists over in pain, a dull, gray pain. To be alone…

Is the worst thing in the world. 

"If you are there…"

"If you would hear me, I am searching for you…"

"I wish…you would be here with me, my dark aelf…"

Flashing like lightning are his crimson eyes, embedded deep in the darkness of a tall pine. I sense his presence, a silent, bleak aura. His slender hands find mine, hold mine. Something in his expression…is wilting, is sad. I draw him towards me, in a deep embrace, hold him close for what seems eternity. 

"I'm sorry that you were frightened away…" I whisper into his hair; the night sky is a blanket of stars., so harshly beautiful, I draw in a sharp breath.

He gazes into my eye, I feel him fitting into my very soul, drinking me in, "A'maelamin," he speaks gently.

I remain in the wood with him until sunrise. When I see him sleeping as the rays of light creep over the horizon, I quickly depart. This day, I shall aid Sir Tamahome and his beloved to safety. 

"I shall return to you," I whisper in his ear, then hurry back to my abode, my eye filled with tears.

I feel so afraid…What happened yesterday…I could not bear it if…if he were to..

To leave me alone again.

*dances* So how do you like it so far? I really am enjoying writing this. With IF, it was like dragging deep, deep depression out of me and vociferating it, which was very hard and painful. But with this...it's everything good and happy…^-^ For now! *evil laughter*

Tasuki: 9.9 She's off her rocker!

Chichiri: Oh no she's quite nice, no da…

Tasuki: I guesssssss….


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Hi. It isn't mine, though.

Warning: This might be a little angst and kawaii, but you have nothing to fear.

Little Blog: You'll have to forgive me on the lateness of this chapter, but the medication I'm on right now makes me very tired and fuzzy-feeling, so it's generally hard to think, even type. Hopefully I'll get this done and it won't sound mediocre. ^-^'

The sky opens its eyes, revealing an ocean of cloudless blue mirrors, reflecting the light of the sun onto the green tranquility of the wood. Trickling through the gaps in the pines, rays of the sun illuminating the path we have chosen to take, faeries dancing betwixt the realm of reality and nonexistence, swirling into a faded memory. I smile at their presence; it is comforting to my unquiet heart, knowing that they follow me even in the company of other human beings. A confidence, a secret we share, though the world around me sees them not.

"There is a mountain pass not far from here," I lean heavily upon my walking stick; as young as I am, my body…feels worn, tired. I feel it in my lungs, a metallic liquid splashing against the interior of them when I breathe. I struggle often to draw in deeply a clean drink of air, yet it is desperation, for I will loose breath even as I attempt to bring it in to me. Sweat is beaded on my forehead lightly, though the wind is bitterly cold. I wonder if I shall be able to lead them the entire way without my body falling prey to fatigue and weakness.

Tamahome's lady, whose name, I am told, is Miaka, begins humming a strange yet lovely tune, one I am sure I've heard before, but am unable to place…where…

At midday we reach the mountain pass, sun grown harsh in it's luminosity, a blinding flash across the sky. 

"Mage," Tamahome's eyes press into my own in all seriousness, "If you be too weary to carry on, I am sure that my lady and I can make the pass on our own." His hands rest on my shoulders, a smile playing on his lips, one that permeates gratitude.

"I would it that I could show you the way, Sir," I respond quickly, "If you would permit me. For it is I who directed you here; I must see it through, that you are not injured on your way."

"Your heart amazes me. How can it be so good?" gazing up at the rocky course which is afore us, "How can anyone's heart…be so good…" There is something like the sound of a hollow wind in his voice; the sound of my chimes in the early spring, when the snow is still suffocating the life of the frail grasses. I know he is deeply troubled, that there is something else, stirring his emotions thus, yet I cannot ask it of him. He grasps the reigns of his steed tightly, his breath a soft puff of smoke in the hazy autumnal air.

The path is lined with scraggly, barren trees, all supplicating to the brilliant sun, reaching out with gnarled arms, clawing, bleeding oozing amber colored blood. Dried, grayish leaves crackle beneath our feet, a carpet of decay, and my mind wanders. Should my dark aelf awaken, and find me gone…? 

I hear the wind sweep through the mountains, violently, carrying with it a thousand, no, much more than that, rustling gray leaves, dancing airborne, in a melodic harmony, pattern. I follow them with my eye, smiling to myself. They catch a hold of the passing leaves, riding on them, laughter echoing through the vacant rocks. Glancing back cautiously, I see Tamahome has stopped, looking about , an expression of confusion spread thickly across his features. "A strange feeling passes over me…" his voice is slightly tense, but hard, so as not to frighten his beloved. 

"Do not fear." I offer to him a gentle, persuading smile, for I know the feeling well; the spirits of this mountain are surrounding us, peeping through the cracks in the stones, hanging from the desolate trees, eyes filled with curiosity, intrigue. One small little being, green in color, runs across the path before me, watching us, nearly stumbling in his terror. His wings are tiny, glittering in the faint light, bluish-purple, remarkable.

They are everywhere, inhabiting the sky, the earth, the seas below. My heart sings with joy.

"I surely heard laughter…like that of a babe…" Miaka speaks softly to her companion, her love, in warm tones laced with uncertainty. 

"Are these mountain haunted, mage?"

I laugh, perhaps to their surprise. "No, no…" They swarm around me, giggling lightly, landing upon my shoulders, brushing their gossamer wings against my face and hair. "Not haunted."

They suddenly fly upwards, towards the vast heavens, the sun which, now overcast by darkening clouds, sheds not its brilliance to convey a hopeful path. Leaving behind only their essence, which envelopes me, I feel an undeterminable strength, deeply rooted into my soul, extensions reaching through my thin body. They have bestowed upon me something I cannot hope to repay in my lifetime, nor in many; a strength, inhuman, perfect, I walk briskly on, quickening my pace, praying in my heart thanks which no words can express. Perhaps it is strength enough just to see Sir Tamahome's safe arrival at the mountain village; perhaps it is a blessing for the rest of my days. Whatever it may be, it means this: 

I cannot give up in my trials to comprehend these beings. I must continue to live among them, no matter what I must endure.

A cold wind sears through my flesh, I shudder; I feel movement in the air, in the space betwixt the trees. Glancing sideways, surreptitiously, I see a dark figure running through the air, hidden partially by the branches, his pace hastening and slowing with my own, his eyes, blood-red, meeting mine in a shattering silence. I hear a trickle of sound, that like a bell ringing; I know it is his voice, whispering through the trees, permeating the pass, a queer tune that sends a flash of color before my eye. 

I pretend not to notice him, walking at a steady pace, so as not to lose my guests, yet I cannot keep myself from sneaking a glance in his direction. Aware of my knowledge, he laughs, delighted, the very clouds swirling in his mirth as he raises his arms heavenward, dancing and running simultaneously. Unable to prevent it, I giggle excitedly, quietly.

He would not leave me…even if I were to…

"Mage, I see smoke billowing up ahead! Have we reached the village already?" He comes up beside me, gripping my shoulder. Indeed, we have come to parting. I see the wooden gates, carved with symbols of old, and the roof of the monastery. We pass through the worn entrance, I feel the dread of sorrow well up inside of me. 

"I would it we should not part," I grieve, clasping Tamahome's hand gently, kneeling before him. "Yet I know our paths are brief, and here you should remain, where I cannot." Our eyes meet, I see his relief, his weariness. "Know that I am forever your servant, for you have a strength unknown to all of man, that you would risk everything to love…" Turning away, hiding the tears so readily springing into my eye, I rise slowly, feeling the energy drain from me. 

An aged monk, donned in brown robes, confronts us, asking our query. "Please, good monk, wise one, permit these travelers comfort within your sanctuary for a time. They are weary with trekking, and as I am unable to provide the sustenance they require, I beg of you…" I prostrate myself before him, lowering my eye to the bleak wintry ground. 

He takes my sleeve, and pulls me up to face him. "Well I know of you, mage. I pray you safe return to your abode, and we shall harbor the passing ones for you." His face is a bundle of wrinkles, grinning widely. 

Tamahome embraces me, "Thank you, mage. I say," He holds me in front of him, to get a more accurate view of my countenance. I turn my head slightly, unable to meet his gaze completely; it must dishearten him, to see my deformity.

Yet he presses me closer, kissing my cheek, trembling. "I say, mage," he breathes, "What is your name? I never had come to know it."

"It is Chichiri, and as I would be your servant, know well to use it when you are in fear," nodding towards his lady, "Or when times of darkness obscure your visage of love."

I watch them walk away towards the monastery, and a deep sadness wraps itself around me, a gloom which I haven't felt since I was a child. I begin my way down the pass, tears sliding down my face, so cold against my skin. 

Arms around me, suddenly, behind me, a tinkling laugh in my ear, I know it is him. He untangles himself from me, then begins to run, laughing, his hair whipping about in the cold air like flames. I follow him, running as fast as my infirmity allows me, crying and laughing at the same time, trying desperately to catch up, but he is always just a little bit ahead of me. I see him look back, then stop so abruptly that I smack into him, we tumble down the pass, entangled , hysterical at our circumstance, holding onto one another as we roll to the bottom of the peak. 

We tussle, laughing all the while, I put my long arms around his waist pinning him underneath me. Breath spurting out in frosty glimmering, we stare at each other, he smiles happily, his hands on my face.

"Amin mela lle," he whispers, stroking my neck affectionately. 

"What…does it mean…" I whisper in return, eye wide, trying to understand. He sits up, pulling me close to his lithe body, pushing my hand heavily on his heart. It feels so good, the warm beating against my palm. Then, gently, he places his hand over my heart, nuzzles my neck, lips moving softly: "Amin mela lle."

What…? Could he be saying…?

Taking his face in my hands, "Amin mela lle?"

Smiling in ecstasy, he encircles me with his arms, holding me so close, a permeating warmth I can truly say, I've never experienced before. "What does it mean, what does it mean…"

"Chi…Chiri…Amin mela lle…" And, I see something strange, blood-colored tears well up in his beautiful eyes, glide down hi smooth cheeks, yet he smiles, his pearl white fangs lining his pink lip. Presses his head against my chest, listening to the rhythm of my decrepit heart, closes his eyes, sighing…

Could it be…that he feels…?

Does he….?

I hold him closer, weeping silently.

^-^ You guys are so coot!

Chichiri: I know, no da! *Smiles*

Tasuki: I ain't coot! I'm handsome *wink*

Well, well…review!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Nope, nump. Don't own it!

Warning: Heavy angst, syrupy kawaiiness? Basically, the same warnings in every chapter, a packet of sugar and some maple syrup. ^-^

Little Blog: Sorry about the delayed update, I've been kinda sick…I have a cold and suffer from depression, so a lot of times I just get too despondent to even write. But I won't give up! This would make a kawaii doujin, ne? ~.^ 

Lunar shadows reflected in the darkness against his smooth flesh, as he sleeps undisturbed, tangled in my sheets, his arms clutching at me tightly. His skin, so it seems, is always one extreme or the other; icy cold, frozen to the touch, or burning as with fever. Now he is permeating heat, a deep flame building within his body, consuming him, radiating onto my shivering body. 

I gaze at his slightly parted lips, as he breathes evenly, in his dreams; his long, full eyelashes, fluttering like the wing of a trapped moth. His eyes roll to and fro within the confines of his eyelids, the constrictions of night's lucid reality. How magnificent this creature lying here, entwined about me in a web of sleek tanned limbs and extensions. 

To have him here…

Holding him closer, kissing his lips gently, I run my gaunt hands through his hair, play with it idly as the moon treks across the endless river of darkness, alight faintly with glowing stars. If only I could express the deep feelings of my heart to him, so that he could understand, could grasp my intense love for him. I cannot say it is desire, for desire is passion for the physical need; yet it isn't purely friendship, either.

I shall attempt to explain what I'm feeling…

It is…

A growing warmth, in the center of my soul, gleaming with pure emotion; the sun in the stream, bright light searing through my eye.

It is…the green hills, littered with faerie rings; the scent of roses on the wind in spring…

Something so incredibly beautiful, so wonderful…futile to describe in mere words.

I wish, I wish…

To hold him for eternity.

He shifts slowly, arching his back, stretching. Curling up in a ball, he whimpers, snuggles against my chest like a child seeking protection. Stroking his face, I whisper to him, I sing to him, a song in my mind, perhaps from my infancy, a memory I cannot place. 

A memory…my eye grows heavy with reverie, with visions…

Wind through the trees, a desperate silence. It caresses my face with numb hands, elongated fingers. I see nothing, all is dark. Yet I must be in the world of dreams. It must be that I have fallen into sleep, holding my beloved close.

My arms hold nothing here, I move them about in a slow, glassy manner, see them streak through the eternal darkness enveloping me. Body illuminating some strange light, I look down at my hands; they glow.

"There is nothing in this world…"

"Nothing that would drag me away from this place…"

"Memory…"

A blinding white light, I shut my eye in pain, feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, hiding my head beneath the folds of my sleeves. A voice, dematerialized, echoes in my soul.

"You must let go of this creature."

I open my eye, shielding it from the blazing beams of light rippling, twisting about me. 

"Neither a creature of light…nor of darkness…an imbalance in the elements of the Netherworld…so he was created…"

I attempt to glimpse the form which emanates this intense light, my eye watering uncontrollably. 

"Entirely rejected by the ljosalfar…maltreated by the svaltalfar…this creature…was never meant to exist in our world, nor in this one…" Transparent, glistening veils, swirling around long, luminous arms, and eyes, gray with the reflection of a pearl…

"So he sought out comfort…in the arms of an imperfect being…a mere mortal…to free him from his agony…his inevitable…fate…"

I reach out to this immortal creature, hands grasping nothing, feeling the burn of it's power against my decrepit flesh. I feel the strings of my heart convulse, strain, with want of disbelief. "Who are you..?" I weep, my shoulders heaving in my sorrow.

Silence is my answer, a strong, vibration numbing my senses. 

"Our world…must never be mingled with that of yours… Do not grow to love this creature, mortal…Do not hold him in your heart…"

"He cannot stay with you…"

"He must return to this world…"

"So…the imperfection in the balance can be dissipated…"

Cries strangling my coherency, I scream, "You cannot mean…he will not be…You cannot hurt him!" I thrust out my staff, summon the elemental powers to me, feel them in my mind, swirling, mumbling a spell. "If you would do this…but first, battle against me! You…" gasping form the pain, the slivers of magic stretching through my limbs, and the blinding light…penetrating my soul, shattering it a portion at a time…

"You cannot…" The creature moves it's hands in a pattern, I feel an immense shudder in the earth, a sweeping power crush me, the blood running down the side of my face. Struggling to stand against it, holding my staff out to deflect the blows…

"I will not let you take him!"

I will not let him…be destroyed…

"I…"

A deep pain, ripping through my body, I see the blood fall out of my heart, spill onto the pure white nothingness…

Eyes like a winter storm, shrieking a spell into my mind…

"I won't…"

Hands like talons on me, digging into my weak flesh, tearing me apart, my soul…is coming apart within me…

"I love him!"

Love…him…

I wake to the sound of thin, piercing screams, combined with the tinkling of my wind chimes. He thrashes, caught in a seizure, his limbs pulsating, frantically clawing at his face, the sheets beneath him. I hold him against me tightly, rocking back and forth in a rhythm, our cries drowned out by the howling, icy wind…

"A'maelamin…" he slowly comes out of his trance, breathing hard, clinging to me, his body drenched with a cold sweat. "Amin hiraetha…melamin…"

"It's all right…It's all right…" I embrace him even tighter, I'll…

Never let you go…

He stares out of the window, gazing at the drifting snow as it falls soundlessly to the ground. Dark rings encircle his lovely ruby-colored eyes, he grips his arms tensely, pain permeated from his expression.

I wish I did not understand, now…now that I have come to know, to understand him, at last…

How blissful is ignorance. I stand beside him, put my arms around him gently. He trembles, glances over his shoulder at me, tears slipping from his lashes. 

"You don't have to go…You could stay here with me…" I hear my own voice, distorted, crumbling in sadness. I bury my head in his shoulder, "Please don't leave me here…alone…"

"Ereb?" He smiles softly, kissing my hands, "Lirimaen…" Turns about, crushing me in his arms as I cry helplessly…

"I have to tell you…this thing…wants to hurt you…if you stay here, I'll protect you…we could be together forever…"I sob, "I don't care…what you are…or what you are not…"

He peers up into my face, eyes wide and shimmering. "Alye'…"

The snow falls, falls…

Review and make me a happy lil' thing?


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Ho, knave! I henceforth disclaim! :P

Warning: Eh…Probably a dose of angst, a heap of kawaiiness? 

Little Blog: I'm starting to get the dreaded 'writer's block'-- I just don't know how I am going to end this thing! I know what I want to convey…and although it isn't time to lay it to rest, yet…I don't want it to get too unbearably angst. Not too much pain and misery, even though I am known for that…heh…well, onward, to the goods!

Whispers on the wind, something is stirring in the shadows of this world…something harboring a heavy dread, a sense of foreboding. A baseless fear gnaws at my innards, permeates my mind, stretching morbid imaginings over my cloudless dreams, transforming them into nightmares of the deepest reality. I feel a presence, like that of darkness, hovering over this secret world, this seclusion from the burdens of man. 

Something is happening, in these deep woods. And I know, I know in my heart…that I must discover its source…

Fastening my sash about my waist hurriedly, I glance at my aelf, smiling tightly. His face expresses nothing; it is distant, unfocused. He catches flecks of snow on his fingertips, his vision fixated on the swirling haze of white outside the abode. It is impossible for me to comprehend what is going through his lovely head now, as if a barrier has been raised against my inquiring, probing eye. 

Grasping my staff, placing a gentle hand upon the small of his back, "I fear…this feeling…"

He stares hard at me, eyes glittering. Fangs just slightly revealed against his soft lips, he purrs comfort, taking my hands and pressing it firmly to his cheek, rubbing. He is so incredibly beautiful…

"There is a dark feeling within me…it builds, little by little…there is something festering in these deep woods, my aelf…" I speak tremulously, looking downward, towards the earthen floor. As if in understanding, he wraps his arm around my own, binding us together, if only temporarily. He intends to accompany me, then; yet I am not sure if it would be in his best interest. If something should happen to this being I have grown to love…I could never…I could not forgive myself, not in this world, nor in any that should follow…

"I would it you would stay out of the danger," I breathe lightly against his neck, holding him close. He responds by tightening my grip around him, squeezing my arms with his own. 

"Amin khiluva lle a' gurtha ar' thar," voice trembling, he presses his forehead to mine, gazing deep into my eye, searching, it seems, for words I cannot express to him…not yet…

It is the most he has ever spoken at once, and I can only fascinate at what the meaning could be…

Squinting against the harsh light of the bright winter sun, hand as a visor, I attempt to make out blurry figures moving in a slow, steady rhythm across the immense span of wintry hills beneath us. It appears to be a heavily armed entourage of knights, each with the crest of the Vermillion Phoenix upon his armor. 

I knew it to be true…

The winds billow my thin robes about my body as I raise my staff, whispering silent spells into the air. Spirits of all sources, fays of the heavens and the earth dance in patterns, encircling me entirely. This should deter them from the course they take, for a short while, at least. Searing light flashes across the sky, lightning on a clear day, heightening the shattering brilliance in the cold stillness. Darkening clouds gather fervently in the sky, swirling in an upheaval of gray cotton, cumbersome with water. Raising my slender arms to the realm of the dragons, I vociferate a spell of the ancient ones lost to the plagues of mankind's thinking. The wind is silent; suddenly, the clouds give birth to their heavy burden, pouring out a million tears upon the glittering red movement beneath the mountain.

It resembles water cleansing a deep wound. Blood in water. There is something foul in the presence of the mountain…

Turning about, the wind raking its cold hands through my hair, I meet eyes with my aelf, who watches me intently, head cocked to the side. He smiles widely, much like a delighted child, and laughs, a sweet sound to my ears. 

"Lle ume quel," he giggles, sitting down upon a ragged stone jutting forth from the earth. I sigh, wander towards him, breathing unsteadily from my exertions.

"I had to do it, though I care not to toy with forces I cannot understand," gently smoothing his hair, though the harsh current of air dishevels it. "I must forewarn Sir Tamahome of this threat. They have known his path; I cannot allow them to find them."

I know he doesn't comprehend my words, for his eyes are filled with confusion, eyebrows raised. He smiles again, grasping at my sleeve, pulling me against him. Breathing in his delicious scent, something like pine needles, roses, and autumn…so lovely. I want to hold him closer, yet he pushes me back a little, gazing into my eye seriously, mouthing words to me in the deafening silence. I don't know if now is the right time…I know he won't understand…

"I…I love you…" I murmur into his hair, kissing his temple lightly. He holds his hand against my heart, feeling the sporadic rhythm. 

"A'maelamin," Pressing slightly harder, he takes my other hand in his, caressing the palm softly. Everything is gentle, soft, soothing with him, near him. Like a honey-colored clouds in the dawn, a fluttering butterfly's wings in the sunlit shadows; wonderfully exquisite and yet, subtly evasive, sad. 

The slowing of the downpour awakens my senses; quickly I stride out towards the cliff of the mountain, gazing towards the direction of my spell-storm. It seems to have halted the soldiers from further progress, but I am well aware that they will hastily continue, adamant in enthusiastic dedication to their king. In a strange sense, I have little desire to prevent these happenings from taking place; it is cruel, yet…I cannot help but feel the immense pressure of something much more heavy weighing upon my fragile, timid heart.

Having given myself as servant to Sir Tamahome, however, I cannot abandon him to the crafty wiles of man-made fate. I must seek to protect him…

Dark luminosity hovers close in my mind, a warning, a vision of unbreakable silence, glass shattering without sound. There will be consequences for my giving aid to the fair knight and his love-torn lady, and my heart cries out…

Please, let it not be my aelf who suffers….

Please, let him not be drawn into the petty affairs of humans, whether it be for love or no, for if he were to taste this bitterness, to feel this pain common to mortal beings….

I may find myself in solitude again, perhaps forever. I could not bear it. Could not.

I glance at him briefly, over my heavily cloaked shoulder, "You cannot follow me," and begin my laborious passage through the mountain path, leaning dependently upon my staff, still burning with the spell of the elements. The sky is growing black, of it's own accord; there is a massive amount of snow cradled within the thick clouds, twisting in upheaval at this new onus. I hear the rustling of dry branches; his dark form moving swiftly ahead of me, through the very air in effortless movement. 

"You should not follow…or, I would it you would not run so far ahead!" I cry out shrilly, attempting to prevent him from going any farther. He ignores me entirely, or else cannot understand what it is I am trying to convey to him. My heart beats faster and faster with undeterminable dread; it swells, and engorged feeling within my center. Something…something is happening here, this night…

Running in a insufficient effort to try and catch him, stop him, I weep, struggling violently to breathe and yet keep pace simultaneously, and finding it futile, I resume a walking measure, fighting with my inner turmoil so as not to call out to my aelf the danger that I feel not to flee from this mountain in sheer terror of what I do not know, what lurks patiently all around in a hesitating moment…

I see the gates, suppress the urge to shout out a warning. I cannot give way to the monks here there is trouble afoot. It might very well be they are the informants, so I cannot call out thus hastening action. Besieged by my own decaying body, I creep to the sanctuary, using the remainder of my physical strength to push against the heavy iron doors.

He is quite surprised, if not slightly happy, in his foolish youth of spirit, to see my feeble form filling a tiny notch in the intimidating shadows of the doors. "Mage!" He starts up from his kneeling position afore the prayer cabinet; yet I raise a hand to him.

"You are in great danger. Your servant has come to subject himself to you, in any manner that he can to protect what his master holds sacred." My eye passes over Lady Miaka, dressed in the thick woolen chestnut robes of a monk, her golden eyes wide with terror, knowledge.

"They have come."

I nod, tears welling in my eye. "Had I the foresight to see it so soon, I would have removed you from this dwelling days ago," breath coming in hard gasps, the trek has let me quite unstable.

"Mage! You needn't trouble yourself with us any longer!" Springing to his feet quickly, he catches me as my legs give out beneath me. "I am sorry to have brought these difficulties to you, magician…"He vigorously wipes glittering tears from his face, which is both angry and sorrowful in his regret. "I will have my horse for you; get away, for if they come to know you are aiding us in our flight, should you be caught…"

His fear for my own well-being is genuinely touching, but he cannot realize…that I'm doing this because I truly want to, though doubt has more than once overcome me. "No, I would it I could lead you away…" sighing as he embraces me tightly, shuddering in trepidation. 

Miaka is hurriedly gathering a few bundles together, packing them in saddlebags, "We should not hesitate," she vociferates faintly.

"Look you, mage and friend," Tamahome stutters through tears, clenching his teeth, "Get ye away from here! We shall manage, I will find somewhere we can hide…"

"But I cannot let you…! You know not this darksome mount, sir; I know it, well like a child does it's mother; if you would only but follow for a little way…the soldiery is coming close, they are informed, so we must take another road…" I tear away from him, distressed at his insistence, as if he feels my foreboding too, that something, something…

Dodging out into the softly falling snow, I hoist a saddlebag onto the waiting white horse, stumbling blindly. A hand seizes my shoulder.

"Mage, you are going to suffer great loss from this," an aged monk prophesies, wheezing hoarsely, "I sense your nightmares every time you exhale."

"Lay off your foul hand!" I push him away fiercely, and he topples into the barren gray snow. He chortles to himself, frightening me, yet not to give up the oath of servitude towards this man I have come to love as a brother.

"Don't spit your old condemnation at me, you stinking lout! Burn me then, Heaven," I scream into the wind, "I'll feel first your flames before I permit you to devour these souls, having done nothing to bring wraith upon themselves yet to love!"

I feel familiar energy surround me enticingly, flicker lights the color of lilies in the spring. When they hear my pain, they comfort me. I see some hundred monks, donned in black tattered robes, standing in front of me, in a semi-circle. "What is it you want," I rasp.

"They shall not leave this place."

"Here is the end of their treason."

I am vastly outnumbered, and though I can summon the elements, I am leery to perform such tasks , as it would but sap my strength. Moving slowly towards me, in a strange, disgusting pattern, singing a dirge with the voice of demons, I back up against a body of armor, Tamahome. "Sir," I whisper shakily, "You must go 'round the sanctuary, to avoid them. I will handle this. Please," clutching his arm, "Follow what I say: There is a path behind the ritual bell, leading to a steep downward slope. It will be difficult to overcome, but you must or death will have you. A water cave is in a small clearing in the immediate wood, you will hear the water. Hide in the waterfall, it will be very cold…" I shove him, weeping, "Go!"

He cries out to me an unheard response, then mounts his horse ferociously, holding tight to his love as they race away…

And now…

Here, alone, I must somehow stay them here, in battle, though I know…

I will die this night. I will pass into the world of shadow, deepest sleep.

They fall upon me, shrieking bloodthirsty howls, the sound of wind coursing through my chamber in mid-winter, raven cawing on a dark summer night at the monastery, when I was a boy…

Close my eye tight, feel a cool numbness penetrate my being…

Then a scream a scream shattering the entire world, the very mountain crumbling beneath it's power. I hear blood spilling out over the earth; devastated cries silenced abruptly, the thud of bodies on the dampening white ground.

Peeking out, my arms brought instinctively over my head and neck, I see…

I see him, covered in their scarlet blood, smattered on his lovely face and hands. Blood running freely over he ground, out of their eyes and ears, mouths; pumping hearts strewn on the ground mercilessly. He stares at me, hapless in my mortality, moaning words of terrible mourning. He crawls over to me, cradles me for only a moment, as I muffle shrieks of pain and utter horror into his chest, his rapidly beating heart; then he grasps my face in his bloody hands, trembling.

"Rima! Sii'!" he pulls me up, points in the direction of my fleeing knight's trail. "Rima!" He frustrates, pushing me hard, "Sii'!"

"I…I'm sorry," I murmur , crying freely now as I run, fast, down the awkward path, glancing back at him as he stands still, watching me disappear into the steep crag of the mountain.

"Amin mela lle, Chichiri," I hear him cry.

0.0 What next?

Chichiri: Even I'm cooorious, no da!

Tasuki: …No comment. Bt at least I get to kick some serious old fart ass! Yeehaw!

^-^' Review? ^-^'


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own FY. I don't own Billy Idol either, but wouldn't it be fun to have a Idol-san all of your own, for squeezing, slapping and whipping? ^-^

Warning: Angst, quite a bit of it and then some. As always, enough sweetness to keep you sugary ones satisfied.

Little Blog: I'll be heading to NY this weekend, and I won't be updating for about a little over a week, so I'll try and make this chapter especially significant. I'm kinda scared, first time on a plane!! ^-^' In reference to something I thought I should answer to: I actually did mean, Vermillion Phoenix. I wanted to keep some of the Chinese lore intertwined in the story, though it's medieval in all other senses. But I didn't want to totally disintegrate the whole Fushigi feel. ^-^

Forcing my way through the endless sea of sharp, claw-like branches reaching out towards me, as if to draw me into them, tearing my robe apart as I struggle to free myself from their spindly hands. Breath flutters obscurely in and out of my lungs; I feel a dank liquid come up onto my lips, the taste of a familiar pinkish-red metal, spilling down my chin as I stumble through the torrent of jagged rocks.

I must …stop. I cannot keep up at this pace, although I would to be sure that Tamahome had followed my instructions scrupulously, so as they should not be captured. I can only imagine the consequences for their actions, and though I have heard the king of the Southern Realm is one of mercy…doubt swells in my heart. Such a crime as this would be punishable by death, torture, or burning at the stake. Visions of his handsome face, twisted in agony, pervade my mind's eye, I cry out involuntarily, so clear are they, like the surface of a crystal. 

How cruel this world, how terrible. That because of love, a love they could not vociferate, they should be punished by death eternal. 

"Why must it be so?" I whisper into the icy air, smearing the blood dripping from my face unto my hand, conscience of the intense desire building in me to vomit, to scream. My lungs rattle loudly against the sound of a gentle wind. The sky, having grown quite black, absorbs the shadows of the gnarled trees, holding them close, cradling them in darkness, a thick shroud to cover their twisted, deformed bodies, leaking amber blood. Everything is ominous, speaks foreboding and gloom. The very spirits have dissipated from the mountain, leaving no trace of light or warmth, deserting me in my despair.

And my aelf…my aelf. Tears overwhelm my eye, stinging harshly for release as I shut it tight, biting back sobs from the depths of my barren soul. My aelf…

"I would it I could undo my very being, I would it you had never come to know me, my troubles…"

"I wish…"

"…I'm sorry…" Unable to control my emotions anymore, I quickly rise from the hollow stone I had temporarily rested upon, rubbing at my eye furiously, attempting to dry up fluid sorrow. I haven't far to go now; picking up my stride, despite the deep pain emanating from my lungs and body, in it's mortal weakness. All I can do now…

Is keep my promises, though in my heart…

I weep. I scream, I want release from the human world. Why did I involve myself with those who I deliberately ran away from? Why does my foolish heart dictate over my mind, my sense of duty still to those who age and die, like the leaves of the forest? Why can I not be free?

__

Freedom is not the choice of any. Even in the Netherworld, we are directed by the winds that tear through our hearts, pulling us into a cycle. All of creation exists to perform what it is they are intended, to give what they can, even if it seems impossible. So it is the way of mortals and immortals alike.

She stands before me, silvery eyes searing right into me, through me, detached yet strangely sympathetic. I feel distinct trepidation gripping my form; trembling, I fall to my knees before her presence, lowering my head to her luminosity. 

A voice in my mind, like the intense ringing of bells, _There is nothing more you can do, there is no one left to protect. _

I raise my head up, meeting her void gaze. "What-- what do you mean?" Again, something powerful smashes into me, a wave of hallucinations, colors of vibrant, shattering passion, and pain, deep grief; the sound of a twig snapping. Closing my eye, I see crimson suns, dancing harmoniously, surging forwards into my heart, burning with a cold heat. The world is falling apart, this world I have come to know…

Floating airborne, faint mists washing across the richly green hills, I see a thousand flowers, the color of blood, glinting like edge of a sword in the sunlight, moving slowly though the wind rushes against them with violence…

There is blood in the water….

"No… The water is clean…I have seen it, time over and again…"

The ruby eyes glittering outside my window, his soft skin touching mine, "Amin mela lle."

"Amin mela lle, Chichiri."

"Amin mela lle."

Lightning splits the sky in pieces, dragons hurled to the earth, crying tears of fire, bleeding black mire unto the mountain, drowning the flowers, they wither, come apart in my hands…

"What is this!"

"Why is this happening!"

"Please! Please! I do not…I cannot…make it stop!" Grasping my skull in my thin, tremulous hands, I scream, I scream out in horror, in pain, as I watch them fall into a million pieces, hearts silent, bloodless shadows in the palm of my hand.

__

Do you understand now, why I must do what I must do. He is now unredeemable, his sin of being, existing heavy upon this world and my own. He has become mortal for you, he has killed for you, he dies for you now, selfish human.

"What do you mean?! You cannot mean…You cannot punish him!" breathing laboriously, sweat trickling down my ribcage, "He is but a child!"

Harsh, knife-like laughter rips open my skull, tremendous agony. I cannot see anything, anymore; a dull flash of white, and everything has disappeared from afore my eye. I sense her presence, shimmering, waves of energy bathing my helpless body in a strange sort of heat.

__

You are more child than he. True, he is unable to comprehend mortality. He is naïve, to believe he is like you, that he can be with you…That he can kill without being brought to judgment. He has been left go for too long; and now, I will--

Thrusting my staff into the ground, I cry out to the elements, my voice charged with rage, hoarse from my weeping. I feel the earth shatter, tremble; quaking beneath us as I murmur a Dark Earth spell. Power, pure energy surrounds us, creating a shield about my form, thousands of boulders borne into the sky. My eye waters as I attempt to open it against her light pouring out from her lips, eyes, and hands; I see the world standing still, time has ceased all movement, as I scream out chants, releasing the rocks from their positions, they fall onto her frail beauty, crushing the light, puffs of translucent smoke billowing in the high winds.

Yet I know I can do no harm to this creature, immortal and untouchable. The ground becomes silent; the wind still. Iridescent lights break apart the stones I have heaped upon her, a barrier acting as protection. 

__

Foolish human, but it is so mortal…for you to attempt to save him…from what must be inevitable…

"He did nothing wrong! He does not understand, you claimed this!" Shaking, falling to the ground, whimpering with pain unspeakable, "It is…my fault…so kill me instead…"

__

You truly do not comprehend. He would have been terminated long past had he not run away to the mortal realm, seeking comfort with you. He is causing the very elements to tilt dangerously. I felt pity…Her eyes speak of the sympathy I formerly saw, _I felt pity for him, his being born unintentionally into a world of perfection…I let him go, whence he should have died, by my sword…I was erroneous in my thinking, believing that such a creature, such a deformity, could be permitted to enter the human world…without causing strife…_

Curled up, I hold my fist against my mouth, pressing inward the cries forming in my throat, suffocating them… "But…he is so…perfect…so beautiful, and innocent…" I gaze at this heartless being, how can she not see? How is it this thing can be so cruel? "What is it he has done that is so wrong?"

__

He has killed humans. He has cohabited with humans. With you. It is forbidden. He is no part of this world, nor of any other world. He is disgusting, and I will destroy him, like I should have, long ago…

"Please," I beg, on my knees, clutching at the swirling fabric of her skirts, burning my hands slightly, "Please, do not do this thing…Please…He's all…all I have…and I love him…I love him so much…" Blood dripping from betwixt my lips, staining the dark earth, "Please…he could stay with me…please, please…"

__

Hear you nothing? A surge of power pushes me away, slamming me into the ground damp with freshly fallen snow. _ It is release, I offer him! How do you think he shall live with himself, after he comes to know the truth of what he has accomplished? Will he not return to their rotting corpses, in futile effort to awaken them? Or will you tell him of what he is guilty?!_

"He did it for me! It is my error, not his!" 

__

Will he see it that way, since you cannot even comprehend one another? She draws her hands inward, against her heart, face impassive to my anguish. _If you would go to him…but what of your duty, your loyalties to men?_

I stand carefully, before her, my legs unsteady in their weakness. "I would fulfill my obligations, as I am under oath; but I would it you should not lay a hand unto him, for he has done nothing wrong. It is I who must bear your judgment, for enrapturing him, for forming an attachment to an aelfin creature. He knew no better."

__

Go to your fellow humans. I will not harm him. Yet, will it not be…that he will come to know the truth of his actions? And then…what shall he do? Her eyes, holding no pupil, stare blankly into my face; she dissipates into the shadows of the mountain, a soft buzzing sound filling the air. 

I rush away quickly, towards the sound of the waterfall, water smashing against solid matter, fay drinking their fill near the edge of the bank. Eye evaluating the area, I catch the sight of something gleaming beneath the crystal veil, glinting armor. I wade into the lake; the shock of the coldness send chills through my limbs, teeth chattering noisily. As if pulling back curtains, I raise my arm alongside the veil, directing the ceaseless flow to another source. 

"Mage!" Embraced by strong, hard arms, I feel myself go limp from fatigue. The world is spinning, spinning…

Vomiting blood into my hands, I sob wretchedly, delirious as he places me on his horse, murmuring soothing nothings in my ear. Her gentle, fair hands caress my face and hair, coaxing me to sip water from her cool palms. "We shall go to your abode, mage," I hear faintly, as the colors around me begin to fade…

"We'll tend to you…"

"Thank you…saved…"

Struggling to force away the crushing weariness having overcome me, I moan, blood bubbling up out of me, try to speak, try to tell them….

"Please…I must…."

I must go to him! I must find him, comfort him! I cannot leave him alone, not when he won't understand, not now, in this terrible moment…

Another vision, like a mirror reflecting moonlight, his lovely amber eyes searching frantically among the bodies of the black-clad monks, hands shaking at them, crying out in devastation at their immobile figures, covered in blood…He grips a lifeless heart, trying to pump life back into it with his own hands…

It all goes black.

^.^ Poor, poor Chiri! What will he do!?

Tasuki: Save me, hunneybunney!

Chichiri: Don't worry! I'm here to save the day…well, not yet, no da…

Review? More to come soon!

__


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Warning: Angst, sweetness. The usual promenade of exaggerated, drawn-out descriptions, and plenty of color.

Little Blog: Well, I'm back! Actually, I've been back for about two weeks, but the 'calling' to my work has been nil. Hopefully I won't bore you to tears with this one, but f it seems less than average…feel free to opinionate it. Just don't critique it too harshly as I am perfectly capable of tearing myself asunder when it comes to these circumstances.

Endless dreams, interwoven with reality and darkness, befuddling my senses as I slowly pull myself out of sleep. A light blanket has been wrapped around me firmly, though I am terribly hot and covered in a translucent, heavy sweat. Everything seems dim; the clouds, hovering in the sky, spewing out hordes of delicate white snow, have concealed the moon entirely, stars barely giving off a glimmer of illumination. The window has been left open, I notice, in my mental haze, the chimes being thrashed about rather violently in the grip of a steady, wintry wind. 

As I struggle to sit upright, I begin to take notice of other things, thing which are very strange, almost fearful. A white kerchief is lying neglected on the floor, smattered with blood, long dried, I assume, by it's dark brownish appearance. Several rags are soaking in a pail; I slip out of bed, gasping involuntarily at the effort needed to perform such a trivial movement. Tottering cautiously towards the window, I am gripped with agonizing spasms in my lungs, my heart.

What…is this?

I am alone. This seems peculiar, I remember voices, in and out of my contorting nightmares, reassuring me, comforting me, whispering things I could not distinguish. I had felt hands, small, soft ones, caressing my forehead, my face; and larger, strong ones, holding me close, a deep voice belting out sorrowful lamentations at my anguish. Who…what?

My memory has dissipated, for the moment, confusion filling my mind as I attempt to sort out what has taken place in the past few hours. I may have been drugged, but…with what? I have certain pain-killing herbs on my shelves that are known to distort the functions of thought, yet…for some reason, this seems unlikely to me. Besides, they are not labeled, so who could know their contents?

Pressing my hands to my face, I lean upon the window frame, allowing a rush of cold air to soothe my feverish body. Why can't I seem to recall to myself…the happenings of only hours? In my mind, fragments of images, swirling in a maelstrom of blinding color…

I cannot make sense of anything, this contracting upheaval of hallucinations. Seized by yet another spasm, my frail, languishing body crumples to the floor, defenseless, pitiful. 

So this is what it means to be human: to be in pain, to die. And I, fool that I am! How I have strived to separate myself from the realm of mortality, by existing within the boundaries of the immortal spirits, creatures which, even now, I fail to comprehend. For all this pain, for all this suffering being wrought…

"What…what is happening to me…" voice weak, echoing softly in this solid isolation, crawling towards the door, with all my strength, and all my inevitable weakness….

Here I am, alone…

The one thing I sought never to be. Gripping the door post, I bring myself to my feet unsteadily, wavering, tremendous pressure on my heart. There is something…someone…I must find, must be with…and yet, I cannot remember who it is…all I remember is my love for this being, wrenching at my heartstrings frantically, a deep cut on my awareness.

Opening the door, I feel the violence of the winter winds, see the snowflakes dancing hysterically in the seamless threads of energy surrounding me. The sky is so black, an endless sea of night, contrasted painfully by the flurry of vicious, twirling whiteness. Pushing against the forceful stream of time and wind, into the deep wood near my home, I am searching…searching…

A mirror reflection, I suddenly open my _eyes_, the eyes of my mind…

Somewhere, in the shadow of the mountain, a cry, profound sorrow reaching the very heavens, a plea…Blood, running freely down smooth, dark hands, caressing shoulders and chest involuntarily…Eyes, the color of amber, leaking crimson tears, voiceless grief etched onto a countenance too beautiful to describe…

My…

__

Amin mela lle.

…aelf…

"My aelf, my aelf!" screaming into the raging snowstorm, binding my arms close about my body in a futile effort to sustain warmth, "My aelf, where are you, my aelf!"

"Please do not be afraid! I'm coming for you! I'll find you!"

"No one will hurt you anymore, my beautiful one!"

Running, where are you, where have you gone, my beloved, my everything, my life…I feel the chill of frost biting my lips, my fingers, but it matters not…all that matters…all that ever did…

"Wait for me, my love," I breathe, my clothes torn by the clawing, dead branches and thorns of the wood, I feel momentary pain, liquid slide down my ribcage, freezing; I feel his anguish, permeating the air itself, melting the light replicated in the snow, turning the color of night, the world is a chaos of demons and darkness…

"Please, please…" terror inflects in my voice, what if I would be too late, what if the Ljosalfar on the mountain…would she have slain him? But I would know it, I would feel the emptiness in my soul, were he to die…

Having come to the mountain path, I raise m voice above the shrieking winds, "Please!" gasping, "Where…where? Where are you, please tell me, show me..! My aelf…" the words fall out of my mouth so naturally, "I love you, don't hide yourself from me!"

"I love you!"

"I love you!"

A scream, shattering the roaring sound engulfing me, penetrates into my heart, a glass blade going right through me, painlessly. And I see his eyes, filled with confusion, sorrow, agony, face streaked with scarlet tears, lying motionless on the snow, moaning incomprehensible words. To see him, in such pain, causes my heart to bleed with sadness, the fault is mine…

"My aelf, my beautiful, my child…" I entwine him in my arms, raining myriads of kisses upon his face and neck, holding him close, feel his body, emanating a cold heat, "I'm so sorry…so…sorry.." I cannot keep my tears from flowing, they drip on to his chest, slipping over his throbbing heart, this heart so full of beauty and purity…

He peers into my eye, expressing without words his ceaseless misery, his heavy guilt. Moving his lips, he says my name in a jagged whisper; squeezing him tighter, "It's not your fault, you did nothing, you're wonderful…" Smoothing my hands along the contours of his face, wiping away the tears besmirching his features.

We lie in the snow, wrapped in a close embrace, as the world violently surges around us, saying nothing. What time may pass, there is no way to know. I feel excruciating pain in my body, a horrifying electricity, and suddenly I know, I know it is him that deals me this pain, I have been dying since we first touched, since our eyes locked. And knowing this, I care not if I should die, I care not for the pain…To die in his arms would give me more happiness than an entire existence of being without him…

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Humans are so foolish. What views of love they harbor in such feeble, degenerate minds. Even death you would accept, over life, to be with such a creature? 

"I would it we would be together for all eternity."

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Knowing that it could mean nothing but eternal pain for you? If you were to live on, there would be nothing but pain and confusion.

"No physical pain could hurt me more than were I separated from him."

__

…I would punish him, I would kill him now, my sword putting out his dark light; yet, your queer devotion stays my hand. It seems you wish to endure his punishment. If that is what you will, mortal, than I will bestow it upon you; I will give to you a penalty that will, eventually, sever our human life.

"If he need suffer no more, I accept your gift."

__

It is your will, mortal. I do not yield to the word of mere humans, but something…something…you have shown me…to love such a terrible disruption in he balance, to suffer such tremendous pain at your own desire, simply for what you call 'love'…

Then, then there is pain, I have never experienced anything like it…I see his eyes, glowing red, full of confusion, his voice, shrill with anguish, calling out my name, but it grows fainter, the howling winds absorbing all sound, a deep silence surrounding me…

I see the stars, a thousand, thousand stars, quivering with the dynamic power of light; I see the hills of the highlands, covered in chamomile grasses and wildflowers…

Memory…will not dissipate…

Never will I leave this place… 

I would to be with you forever…

I would suffer it all for you…I would give my very life for you…imperfect though it be…

He is holding my hands, and, together, we fly into midheaven, circling round and round, they are near us, dancing with us, wings like iridescent silk. I spread my arms wide, now I can join them, I can be a part of the perfect beauty forbidden to me for all of my lifetime…and I feel no pain, only joy, elation…

I see, far below, a knight in gleaming white armor riding upon a white stallion over the clouds, a maiden with golden eyes like the sun in his arms, and I know, I know…

It was not in vain. Whatever I must endure, whatever suffering it may bring…

Holding me close, we watch the snow slowly cease to fall, the sky open into a bright new day. 

"Chichiri," he sighs, "Amin mela lle."

"I love you." 

The sun gleams down upon us, his hair like a flame in the wind, eyes rubies in the light.

*^^* Well, what did you think? 

Tasuki: *sniff, sniff* That was very nice!

Chichiri: See I'm a tough little son-of-a-gun, aren't I no da!

Expect a sequel to this! It's not over yet!!!!

Tasuki: 9.9


End file.
